


High-Five Gone Wrong

by Measured



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Accidents, F/M, Face Slapping, Humor, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27477061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured/pseuds/Measured
Summary: Marshall goes for the high five and misses.
Relationships: Lily Aldrin/Marshall Eriksen
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	High-Five Gone Wrong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [possibilityleft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/possibilityleft/gifts).



> Inspired by: [Imagine Person B of your OTP accidentally slapping Person A when going in for a high five and spending the rest of the day nursing Person A and making sure they are okay. Person A is constantly going it's fine・and don't worry・ which only makes Person B care for them more.](http://otp-imagination.tumblr.com/post/161072591245)
> 
> The minute I saw this prompt, I went "Yeah, this is canon." Speaking of canon, [this bit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmi5sM6vyqs) helped this fic come along. Also, when I say creepiest smile [this whole slap bet compilation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKYGsFiI8fA) should help show exactly the Marshall smile I was talking about.
> 
> Happy Holidays, Dove.

The moment was epic. In fact, one could almost say (and Barney indeed did) that it was _legendary._ The bar was filled with cheers at the touchdown on the tv screens. Rounds were called. Who knew so many Minnesotans had ended up in this exact bar? Not the one he'd gone to with Robin, which was like going home, but his home away from home: MacLarens.

Maybe it was Minnesotan Night and he missed the memo. Like girls night, but with more people taller than 6 feet.

Marshall didn't look away from the screen for the goal. Lily had on the jersey, slightly too large. (He was looking forward to taking that jersey off her tonight.) Who knew, the Vikings might actually win tonight. (Hope sprung eternal.) He went in for the high-five. Lily and him were always in sync. He didn't even have to give her the word for when it'd be _hand slapping time._

What his hand met wasn't her own smaller hand. It was the similar feeling during the slap bet. Except softer, more supple.

Lily let out a whimper. He stared down in horror. With his giant Minnesotan hands, he'd misjudged and slapped her right in the face.

Marshall covered his mouth and gasped. "Baby, no!"

Lily let out the cutest little _eep_ and clutched her face.

"Ooh, ouch," Ted said. "You okay there, Lily?"

He had a beer and a book of Neruda on the bar booth. Ted always did just like Stephen King, and read between plays.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I was going for the five."

"I know, Marshall." She smiled, even as she kept holding on to her cheek. 

Ted was used to little accidents. After all, they'd once even accidentally stabbed Lily with a _sword._  
High-five mishaps was only one in a long number of accidents which left Lily with bruises.

Not the sexy kind of bruises like hickies, but the kind that left him cringing because he'd accidentally opened a refrigerator door and accidentally hit her right in the face.

He pulled her into a fierce hug and rocked slowly as the cheers died down. The touchdown was a fluke, and their luck turned immediately. The bar became more quiet as the Vikings started to lose.

Marshall didn't even notice as his team began to lose.

(Then again, he'd seen plenty of losses, and as a Vigkings fan, he knew that pain intimately.)

*

It was like he'd accidentally jinxed the game, because the Vikings went on to lose. And Marshall already felt horrible. Every time he looked at Lily, he felt another wave of guilt come over him.

One missed high-five and the night was totally ruined for everyone. Well, except Ted, who was used to the many 'sandwich' induced accidents they'd gotten through along the years. (To say nothing of the ones brought about by alcohol.)

And not Lily, because she bounced right back, and was all smiles in the ride back.

But it was ruined for him, at least.

Marshall had gone to the kitchen to bring her back many supplies. As he came back out, he was struck, just as he always was, how beautiful she was. Her tiny frame, her red hair and that unyielding look in her eyes. Every time he looked at her, he thought again _that's the love of my life. I'm going to marry her._

Then he reminded himself that he locked that shit down years ago, and mentally high-fived himself for being so smart to marry the strongest, best girl in the entire world.

Marshall had surrounded her in a big fluffy blue throw blanket, and several throw pillows all about her o the couch. Just so she wouldn't feel even a bit more discomfort. If he had his way, he'd be surrounding her in roses. Except Lily had a bit of a spending blow out after a stressful day, and he couldn't afford both her shoe bill for the month and the million roses he wanted to cover her with.

Next month, maybe. Hopefully not after he dropped her while dancing, or accidentally elbowed her, or turned over in bed so much that she ended up falling out of bed.

He looked over her face again, to see if there was a bruise. So far, there was just a little redness. And that might've even been from the ice, more so than the slap.

"Here, I brought you more ice for your face, baby," Marshall said.

"More? Marshall, I'm _fine._ This ice hasn't even melted yet."

"No, Lily, you're not fine! I slapped you in the face--by accident, but still. Mr. Slappy made contact with your beautiful face. I'm going to go to my grave knowing on this day, when the Vikings almost won, I accidentally _slapped you in the face._ "

She was so nice, she didn't even correct the part where he said the biggest dream: _when the Vikings almost won._ Marshall believed in impossible things. Like the Loch Ness monster, and Mothman, and his team one day becoming so amazing that it won all the awards.

She lifted her eyebrows. "Mr. Slappy?"

"Around the time of the slap bet, I started getting creative and sending Barney messages like: 'Mr. Slappy is coming to see you soon.'"

"That sounds only slightly serial killery," Lily said.

"Oh, that was nothing, I gave him a photo like _this_." 

Marshall made his creepiest smile, and lifted his hand, like he was about to slap someone.

"Aww, I'm sure you gave him nightmares," Lily said.

"I sure hope so," Marshall said.

"I hope you absolutely _terrified_ Barney. I hope you made him _suffer_ in wait for each slap. Slap bet commissioner says it's only right." Lily's voice sounded gritty, even hardcore. The same way when she demanded he _take me harder._

"I'm sure I did," Marshall said.

"Anyways, Marshall, you didn't even hit me that hard," Lily said. "Certainly not hard enough to write a song about."

"Still..."

Lily looked at him with fond exasperation. "How many times have I told you 'spank me harder, Marshall Eriksen, you won't even leave a mark on my ass at this rate! I better have a giant hand mark on both butt cheeks before morning! You better slap me so hard when I sit down tomorrow, I remember each and every time you called me a dirty girl and spanked me hard?"

"Many, many times," Marshall admitted.

"And how many times have I told you 'Marshall Eriksen, you better honka honka these titties _harder_ , and you better honka honka them _good_?"

"Even more times," Marshall said. 

"If anything, I'd say you slap like a little bitch," Lily said sweetly.

Marshall sat down on the couch with her, and wrapped her up tight.

"Still, I hate whenever I accidentally injure you."

"Like the time you accidentally got me with the champagne cork, or the time you accidentally punched me on Halloween?"

Marshall nodded sadly. "Every time, it's like I got punched in the heart. And also the balls. Like some heart/ball combination of pain."

Lily reached out. "Then there's only one way to fix this: kiss it better."

"Now there's one thing I can do.

He leaned in and kissed her cheek, and then kissed her mouth. A quick peck, that still left him with butterflies in his chest. Because no matter how long he'd been with Lily, each kiss still felt like the first kiss. But better, because when they'd first kissed, they'd had too many 'sandwiches' and he'd almost kissed Ted instead by accident.

(Lily still laughed about that to this day.)

"Is that better, baby?"

"Much better," Lily said.

Marshall wrapped her up tight in a hug, and rested his head against her shoulder.

"You don't have to worry about anything tonight, baby. I'll do the dishes, and if you want your feet rubbed, I'm your man. In fact, I already ordered a pizza while I was in the kitchen getting you new ice packs. You don't even have to feed yourself tonight. I will totally make these big Minnesotan hands hold you every slice, like you're a queen. Because you are. And we'll watch all the shows you want to watch tonight on Netflix," Marshall said.

Never mind that he always watched whatever she wanted to anyways. No wonder; she had good taste ins hows.

"You know, a girl could get used to this. I say, as long as you keep spoiling me after you accidentally injure me, it's all good," Lily said.

"Maybe next time we can skip the part where you get injured and go right to the spoiling?" Marshall said.

"Even better," Lily said.


End file.
